Forgiveness isn't for the other person it's for You!

Not so very long ago, we witnessed the brother of Botham Jean, the young man who was killed in his own apartment by a Dallas police officer, offer forgiveness to the officer. To a small extent, I understood this brave act. Many people wondered how Brandt Jean could offer forgiveness to a cold-blooded killer. Again, when you forgive someone, the forgiveness is not for them; it is so that you can live in peace. Being unforgiving comes from a place of anger and can lead to bitterness. Lawana Blackwell states this fact most eloquently: “Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives.” Offering the gift of forgiveness does, in no way, excuse the act that has transpired. Nor does it suggest that you are back to being the person that you were before the act transpired.

My brother, Ronald was murdered as well. During the trial of his alleged murderer, I made a conscious decision to "forgive".

Psychology Today says this about forgiveness: Forgiveness is, in part, a willingness to drop the narrative on a particular injustice, to stop telling ourselves over and over again the story of what happened, what this other person did, how we were injured, and all the rest of the upsetting things we remind ourselves in relation to this unforgivable-ness. It's a decision to let the past be what it was, to leave it as is, imperfect and not what we wish it had been. Forgiveness means that we stop the shoulda, coulda, woulda been-s and relinquish the idea that we can create a different (better) past.

So you see, there will never be a time in our lives that we don’t need to walk in forgiveness. In the absence of forgiveness, we become a prisoner to how we respond to how people treat us. We are able to live in freedom only when we offer forgiveness, liberally and expeditiously.

I made a conscious decision, in my heart, to forgive…so that I may live in peace. Is there someone whom you need to forgive? Has your focus been compromised by anger or bitterness? Do you need clarity in your life? Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you let go of anything or anyone that may be hindering you.

Andrea Dudley

The Hope Coach

Catalyst of Change

Publisher, Speaker & Transformation Specialist

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”—Mark Twain

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